Me too

I have often reflected upon the words Jesus uttered while hanging on the cross “Forgive them Father; they know not what they do”and each time I am amazed. When reading the account in the gospels I feel like arguing with God, “Yes they did know!” They were even there at the very end gloating over their perceived triumph over the thorn in their side. Adding literally insult to injury by mocking the fact that the Son of God would not allow himself to be crucified. In the face of the very ones who were responsible for the cruelty of the cross, all Jesus said about them was, “Forgive them!” There is part of all of us that kind of wish Jesus wouldn’t have let them mock Him. Wouldn't have let them get away with it, without them also going the way of Judas. Give them a little bit of what they deserve. Serve up a little justice on the spot.

This has always blown me away at the magnitude of Grace that was shown to those responsible for His death. It was shocking to those that heard it at the time as well. The greatest demonstration of love is not that we loved Him, but that He loved us while we were yet enemies of God. I am sure that the image of Jesus praying for them had to haunt many after His body went missing from the tomb, and hundreds of reports of seeing Him alive, and the boldness of the disciples in telling the story of His death and resurrection. I am sure the image of Jesus nailed to the tree praying, “Father forgive them, they know not what they do,” had to be one of the hardest images to shake free from their conscience in the following days and weeks or even years.

It has rattled me the same way here lately. It was not until reading John Stott’s book, “The Cross of Christ,” that he points out the motivations that each of the characters had, in playing their part in the crucifixion of Christ. Judas was motivated by greed, the Pharisees and Sadducees by envy/jealousy or by a desire for power, Pilate was motivated by fear/selfishness or just peer pressure, and the Roman guards appear to have been motivated by pride. Their sin was ultimately a handing over Christ to be crucified. It was a betrayal of the person and authority of Christ.

Any time I sin, it is not that my sin is any less a betrayal of Christ and His authority or any less of a handing Christ over to be crucified than theirs was. My longing is to hear, "Forgive Him Father, I've paid for his sin." Thank you Jesus!

Got Joy?

Does God need to answer a prayer that you are praying in order for you to have joy in your life right now?

Does something need to change at work or in a relationship for you to have a little more peace?

Is your joy completely overflowing in your life right now?


I have a friend who really challenged my thinking when he shared a story. The Lord had used me to help him see the cross again as the center of his thinking. He had a friend that was really getting discouraged because God was taking too long answering some of his prayers. Prayers and work dedicated to good things, but not seeing the results yet. My friend shared what he asked his friend. "Did Jesus need to do more on the cross in order for you to be satisfied?" Wow, that question hits hard. We have such a tendency to move right past the cross on to "more pressing" issues, when the source of joy and satisfaction has already been bought and paid for.

I have related what Christ did on the cross to an analogy of my father wrestling with a person holding a gun to me. If he gave his life in order to save mine, would I still demand more from my father? Would I get mad at my father for not being there when I missed him or things were difficult? The clear answer is no! So an imperfect father, saving only my physical life receives a lifetime response of gratitude for his heroic act, but Jesus heroic sacrifice of His life for mine receives anger, contempt, rebellion, and disappointment when He doesn't give me more than His very life. Is my heart really that hard?

It is at the cross where Christ demonstrated the greatest measure of Grace from God to me. That Jesus would become my very sin, that God would pour out His wrath against my sin on Christ, and that I would become the Righteousness of God through Christ. That the love and acceptance that would be shown to Christ is shown to me. God sees me as righteous, blameless, holy, and as His child. I am given the spirit of God himself as a gift to seal my soul one day to be made into the image of Christ. I am given a gift more valuable than all the treasure of the entire earth, and I am left empty and dismayed because I feel he has shorted me the equivalent of one corn flake out of my bowl of cereal. The gift of the whole world is cast aside, because of the equivalent of one flake of cereal that I feel should have been added to my bowl.

Paul asked for the thorn in his flesh to be removed three times, and the Lord's answer was that His grace was sufficient. I never had considered that the grace that God showed me through Jesus on the cross was sufficient to overcome any difficulty or disappointment in life. I always assumed that it was future demonstrations of graciousness that would be shown to Paul and me that made His grace sufficient. I can see clearly that God continued to show Paul an unmerited favor and kindness after that point, but I believe God was turning Paul's eyes back to the cross! That Paul would know nothing but Christ and Him crucified! May we all return to the cross as the source of strength and joy! For God so loved the world that He sent His only begotten son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have ever lasting life.

Lord, let us not get so far from the cross that we feel we need something more from you to have joy today in our lives for you have already given us immeasurably more than we could have ever asked or imagined. Let our lives be lived as our response of gratitude for what was done on our behalf on the cross. Here am I, be glorified through me today!

3D Glasses

It is funny how so much scripture comes alive when the Lord moves us to look through the proper perspective. A perspective that doesn't seem complicated, just uncomfortable for my pridefulness. Drawing near to the cross and allowing God to make the gospel the center of my understanding and of my life changes everything. Today I was reading in Ephesians 6 about putting on the armor of God when I began with a desire to know Christ and Him crucified as Paul states.

I remember hearing this passage since I was a child. I still remember as a child Mrs. McNamee using a flannel board to illustrate the different pieces of the armor of God. But since really praying and seeking to go deeper into the gospel and to attempt to study God's word in the shadow of the cross, everything has changed. As I began reading it became so incredibly clear that what we needed to clothe ourselves in was Christ himself through our oneness with Him. We need to cling fast to the cross to the point it causes us to lay down our claim on our own lives and live for Him. Put on your 3D glasses approaching close to the cross and watch this passage come alive.

Here is the whole passage from Ephesians 6.
10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. 11 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. 12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. 13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. 14 Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, 15 and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. 16 In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; 17 and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, 18 praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints, 19 and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, 20 for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak.

I want to give you two verses from Chapter 5 that help to shape our understanding.
³¹"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." ³²This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.

Paul talks about the intimacy and connectedness of a husband and wife being a picture of the oneness we should have with Christ. We should be covered with oneness with Christ. Is there one who has done more to protect us from the schemes of the devil. I don't need a piece of armor, I need Christ.

As I began to look at these pieces of armor, I was reminded of the thought that God doesn't desire to give us just something, He gave us Himself. The belt of Truth...Jesus said in John 14:6 that He is the Truth. The greatest realization of Truth is Christ! There is no truth apart from Christ. The breastplate of Righteousness, I was reminded of 2 Cor 5:21 "For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God." There is also a reference to the Messiah wearing armor in Isaiah 59:17 "He put on righteousness as a breastplate, and a helmet of salvation on his head;" Jesus does not put on and take off Righteousness! He is righteous! We become the righteousness of God in Him. I need for Him to take my sin and for me to be clothed in His righteousness. Well, His righteousness is not a garment. It is found IN HIM.

The readiness of the gospel of peace. It too is found in Christ. The gospel is the message that you and I can have peace with God by coming through, by trusting in, by being found in Christ. Being clothed in Christ makes your feet ready to go share about how incredible it is to be one with Christ. Intimacy and oneness with your wife makes you want to tell everyone how incredible your wife is as a precious and amazing gift from God. Oneness and intimacy with Christ makes your feet ready to go and share the gospel of peace.

The shield of faith. Faith is not a substance that exists by itself. There is an object of that faith. Faith is what you really believe to be true about that object. Our faith is in Christ. Our faith is really about Christ. The more we are clothed and covered with the reality of Christ, the less vulnerable we are to the flaming arrows that are directed at what we believe to be really true about Christ. The more oneness and closeness I have, the less vulnerable I am to exchange the truth of God for a lie.

The helmet of salvation...Is our salvation separated from Christ. Christ is our salvation, for salvation is found in Christ and Christ alone! I need my mind and thoughts clothed in oneness with Christ my savior. The sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. John 1 tells us the Word was with God, the Word was God, and that the Word became flesh. The greatest sword is me being clothed in oneness with Christ. Look at Paul's request for prayer. 19 that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, 20 for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak.

It really is simple. When I have the greatest oneness with my wife, it is then that my marriage is least vulnerable to attack. It is when I have the greatest oneness with Christ that I am least vulnerable to attack as I am clinging to the cross of Christ, that He has taken my sin, bore it in His body, and in turn gives me Himself. That through my oneness with him, knowing Him and being known by Him deeply, He might be the armor that protects my very soul from attack. And through that same oneness my life might be used mightily as a sword in His hand!

Lord, I ask for forgiveness for so consistently desiring and pursuing so many things other than oneness with you. For often pursue religious things instead of intimacy with you as what I need most. I pray that you would stir an unquenchable hunger and thirst for your righteousness that would only be satisfied through oneness with you. Walking with you, Praying with you, and meditating on your every word spoken to me. Jesus, thank you for being my covering and for even desiring oneness with me!

I know what would fix you up

I can't believe I have never been able to see this. If I went up to you and informed you that I already had what you needed and then tried to convince you of your need. You might be a little resistant to agree with my better than you posturing in the sales pitch. The further I got away from my own need for the cross, the more one sided the sales pitch for Jesus became. I am so past needing the cross, but you on the other hand need the cross to get your life right.

The more I have become aware of my ongoing deep need for the gospel of Jesus Christ in my own life, the more I realized my pridefulness had to be a turn off when I shared the gospel. In fact it was my pride that led me further away from the cross, and thus if I was talking about that cross way over there that you need. Would I not only be able to communicate about this subject in a prideful way.

Here is the beauty of my growing in my need for the cross and the good news of the gospel in my own life. It has made my words less offensive and have allowed Jesus convicting of sin to be the only part that is offensive. I read this week that we are not permitted to be offensive in any way in sharing the gospel, but are to allow only the conviction of sin to be the offense. If I say that I need to respond to Jesus dieing on the cross and paying for my sins by turning away from my sins in repentance and trust in Jesus Christ. I can humbly say to the other person, that they need the same exact thing that I need. They may not agree to trust Christ, but they won't feel as though I was judging them and preaching down my nose at them. By including myself. By agreeing to the same great need. I remove my pride as the offensive part of the gospel.

I am reminded of when I had the opportunity to share the gospel in a barbecue restaurant in Richmond one Sunday after I had preached on the message of grace. The lady said at the end, "How you said, what you said, has really challenged me." Should we not be humbled by the cross as we talk about the cross? Should we not acknowledge our own need for our sins to be forgiven when we talk to others about their need for their sins to be forgiven? Should we not be moved by the gospel of grace when we desire to see someone else moved by the gospel of grace?

Lord, I do pray that my brokenness by the cross and the gospel would cause others to consider their response to the cross of Christ and the good news of the gospel!! That I would be given the privelege of saying, "Come follow me to the cross." Amina!

Turned Over

I was reminded of the money changers in the temple that had their tables overturned by Christ. All that they knew and placed their confidence in was turned over and spilled out on the ground. It is funny how often people who travel to Uganda and other places to serve the Lord feel this way. Feel as though the Lord has overturned their cart and all of the things that they had been placing their trust in are dumped out on the ground. Only to return home with this feeling of being very exposed and almost a need to gather all of their items up again and place them back in the cart. For me seeing how God blew up my cart with the cross has left me feeling exposed and vulnerable and torn between part of me wanting to pick up the stuff on the ground and part of me not wanting to pick up anything but my cross and follow Christ. But taking up my cross means leaving all of the things that I do control lieing on the ground as I follow Christ. The grace of God draws me near and bids me come and die, that I may truly live.




Being broken by the cross to the point that it completely overwhelmed me. The magnitude of the grace that I was shown turned me inside out. It burned inside me to the point it caused me to ache because of what was done for me. To the point it felt as though I could not stand it any longer. Yet it is with joy I long to be set on fire again. It is like when we would play with grabbing an electric fence when we were kids. We would feel the electricity go through your entire body and you would not be able to control it. To feel the power of God pulsing through you, yet costing my ability to have control. It was painful, yet an exhilarating experience. I don't know if any of this makes sense to any one else, but I am trying to process something that I have struggled to make sense of and put into words. I have even found myself longing to relive that experience. There is part of me that desires to return to that experience, instead of the cross again. The experience is safer than the cross, because I lived through it. Yet I fight through this desire as well, and must just ask for God to draw me near to the cross again.

It is my prayer that Christ would be lifted up, that He would draw all men unto Himself. That men's hearts would be broken and set alive at the same time by the power of the cross. To the praise of the glory of His grace!

How did I get so far from the cross?

I wrote in my last blog that I was broken by the gospel. It seemed as a surprise to me that it would be what God would use to break me. I began to see that there is no pridefulness at the foot of the cross. Looking up at Jesus with his face bloodied, with the thorns beaten into his skull, with the wounds open on His back, with His hands and feet nailed to the cross, it is impossible to not be gripped by the fact He endured all of this for me. He not only did it for me, He actually received all of what I deserved, that I might receive what only He deserved..eternal life, fellowship with the father.

I was broken by the devastating effects of my sin that would lead Jesus to suffer this way to pay for my sin. I am convinced that if Jesus would of enabled his disciples to understand fully what He was doing on the cross, they would have pleaded with Him to not do this as they were not worthy! Even though the implication would mean that we would have to pay the consequence of our sin ourselves. There is not a person who would feel worthy to have Jesus suffer and die on the cross in their place, as the only person ever who didn't deserve death.

I became convicted by the Lord that I had traveled too far away from the cross is why I was not broken by the sight of Christ on the cross. As the reason why I was no longer broken by the gospel message that died to purchase my forgiveness of sins. If it was impossible to look at Him on the cross and remain unmoved by it, then I must not be looking "closely" to the cross.

I am left pondering the question, "How did I get away from the cross?" How did I travel away so far that the gospel message breaking my heart would come as a surprise? I think I can see where my tracks traveled. I became uncomfortable looking at the cross because it reminded me of my sinfulness and I took a step away. I wanted to believe that sin is a minor issue in my life that I had under control, and I took a step away. I believed I was a pretty good guy and needed to look to the deeper things of Christianity. Things that could satisfy a good guy like me wanting to "go deeper." Another step away. A few more times of judging others for not having it together as much as me...a couple more steps. It was my pridefulness that wanted to move away from the most humbling place in the world. Clinging to the cross with the blood of Jesus Christ pouring down and covering my sin and shame. That he was dieing even for the good works that I would do in my own strength seeking my own righteousness. That he became sin that I might in Christ become His righteousness.

2 Cor. 5:21 For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

Grace opposes pride as it leaves no room for pride to stand, because you receive that which you don't deserve. But pride opposes grace as we seek to receive what we believe we deserve. It was my prideful steps that caused me to walk further away from the cross.

It is also not surprising that I have been in the middle of reading and studying the book, Humility: True Greatness by CJ Mahaney when I began the journey of taking steps back toward the cross as God has humbled me.

May our prayer be that God would lead us back to the cross. So close in fact that we would know that it is by His blood that our sins are forgiven. That we would feel the heaviness of the cross opposing the pridefulness in our hearts. That we would feel our hearts burning inside of us by the magnitude of what He has done for us. So close that the gospel would be on our lips when given a chance to speak. PTL, Amina!


Enjoy these songs by Matthew Smith that blessed me as I sought the Lord to bring me close to the cross.