Why do I Doubt God

There is a tea house atop one of the world's most daunting trails to reach it.  I can only imagine someone being led to embark on that trail by a friend without them telling them how long the trail was or what surprise awaited them at the top.  "Just trust me it will be worth it!", might not be enough to get some to go the distance.  I think this is really the issue between us and God.  His promise is not enough for us because we struggle to really trust Him.  We need way more details.  Like how long is this going to take?  How safe is it?  What exactly is up there..."Oh really, well what flavors do the serve?"  We fundamentally struggle to trust anyone but ourselves and that is why we think we need way more than the beautiful promise of Romans 8:28.  Actually it is not a promise....It is something we KNOW already!

Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

I find that if everything does not go my way right away, then I don't believe that God is really going to work this out for my good.  Yet so many times, God has to bring me to the point of it being out of my hands before He is willing to step into the situations of my life.  I can't imagine how much despair and a sense of everything being wrong that the disciples and followers of Christ must have felt seeing Jesus arrested, then beaten, then seeing the sentencing of execution, then actually seeing Him nailed on the cross.  I can only imagine how hard it would have been to believe that God was in complete control and that the greatest work God had ever done was being done right in front of their eyes.

I just have a hard time admitting how little faith I have, and slow to recognize how little I have sought for God to give me the gift of greater faith and trust in Him.  To my shame I am all too often content with little faith and a much too small view of God.  So here is to all those out there like me that long to draw in a full breath of Christ's trust in His Father and see our fears fade like distant thunder.  If you are seeing things go different than you would have ever written the script, take heart it is in these moments when He takes us down paths that none of us would choose that He does what none of us can, so we can taste what we have never tasted before.  Tea Anyone?